Qing Ming: remembering the dead and comforting the living

Last Sunday, my family and I visited my grandfather’s ashes for Qing Ming. For those who don’t know, the Qing Ming  Festival is a traditional Chinese occasion where we visit the graves of our loved ones, and is a time for remembrance, reflection, and respect. For us, as it has been every year since my grandfather passed away, it is always a family event where we offer food and joss paper goods to him, as well as to our maternal great-grandmother and my grandfather”s sister (all their ashes reside in the same pagoda).

A sea of people make offerings and say prayers for their lost loved ones

My mother is Chinese but my father is Malay, and here in Malaysia, that means that by blood, my siblings and I are muslim – not to mention my mother and her mother converted. However, my mother has always insisted on our multiculturalism, and especially in the diverse backdrop that is Malaysia and my grandfather unconverted, we have never had any qualms about regularly visiting the temple and performing these traditionally Chinese rites – in fact, it is something we are all very proud of. Alongside speaking both Cantonese and Malay, following the practices of both our cultures helps to remind my family of our roots and where we come from. These are things that will never change.

The Qing Ming festival is a revered and serious occasion in Malaysia, and the jostling crowds of people at the temple last Sunday are testament to that fact. The temple grounds were overflowing with people, and combined with the marginally thinner cloud of smoke, perpetually summer sun, and the stress of carrying so many things around, it wasn’t exactly the most glamorous experience. But, it is and always will be, a crucial part of our family life (and not to mention vital experience to ensure that my children will do the same and correctly). For me, as it clearly was to so many others there, this affair wasn’t just something we felt compelled to do, obligated by tradition and convention, but it was something we all wanted to do, in memory and out of love for those that we had lost.

Minus my eldest brother, my siblings and I pose with our popo in front of gong gong’s brand new mansion!

In light of all these rituals, homages and customs, my mother often says that we do it to comfort the living, and not just to remember the dead. This is not something I am unwilling to agree with, or shy to admit. In fact, I feel like this realization is crucial; in comforting our living selves we are reminded that we will not always be living, that those who are dead made us who we are today, and that these things are just a few among many, that tie us as a humanity – together.

One Lucky Sunday: A Badminton Superstar, Halle Berry’s Ex and Fast, Fast Cars

The Sunday that rounded off the Formula One weekend was a great one. I was lucky enough to spend the final day of the Malaysian Grand Prix’14 in the Paddock Club, and needless to say, it was an amazing experience! Not to mention, I met one of my heroes that day: Datuk Lee Chong Wei.

Nothing but smiles with the badminton legend

For those who don’t know, Lee Chong Wei is one of Malaysia’s national icons, and one of the idols for many sporting dreamers out there. I don’t even have to play badminton to feel inspired by him, or be in awe of his 5 awards, 53 titles and 28 runner-ups – the World Championships and the Olympics amongst a myriad of others. In fact, I would never even consider myself a sportswoman, but Lee Chong Wei is about a lot more than just badminton. I’m always met with surprise when I voice how much I admire him, and constantly asked the question: do you even play badminton, do you even play sport? The answer, really, is no, but I can assure you that most of the people who have watched and supported him through the years will say the same thing. He embodies my country, our country, and all the hard work that has gone into putting Malaysia on a global stage. I remember almost crying when he lost an Olympic gold medal for the second time to Lin Dan, but that loss was not so much a defeat when one remembers how far he had gone to get there in the first place; for me, Lee Chong Wei has sailed through a sea of triumphs, and no matter what, will remain a paragon of determination and skill to inspire not only Malaysians, but dreamers around the world. I am proud to call myself a Malaysian, standing by his side.

Moving on from my patriotic sermon, I also had the chance to meet Eric Benét. He’s a four-time grammy nominated artist and also happens to be Halle Berry’s husband – needless to say, he was just as charming and handsome as I would have thought, and had a surprising penchant for selfies.

Selfie time in Lewis Hamilton’s pit before the race

Unfortunately, I didn’t manage to grab a picture with all the wonderful people I was there with – of which there were many, including a very handsome Benedict Cumberbatch – but all I can say, is that I feel very grateful and blessed to have been in such esteemed company (of which the best was of course my father, who was my date for the day).

The best view!

Because I study abroad, I haven’t really been able to go to the F1 for the last few years. I had forgotten how exhilirating it was when the race started, when something went wrong, or when a driver was doing everything right (go Lewis Hamilton, go Petronas!). I hold a deep respect for everyone who organized and partook in the Grand Prix, and can safely say that it is something that Malaysia is, and will continue to be, very proud about.